Gekko

For all of those with that scratch on the new car...

Make Peace with Imperfection
by Richard Carlson, Ph. D.

From "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff"

I've yet to meet an absolute perfectionist whose life was filled with inner peace. The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other. Whenever we are attached to having something a certain way, better than it already is, we are, almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle. Rather than being content and grateful for what we have, we are focused on what's wrong with something and our need to fix it. When we are zeroed in on what's wrong, it implies that we are dissatisfied, discontent.

Whether it's related to ourselves-a disorganized closet, a scratch on the car, an imperfect accomplishment, a few pound we would like to lose-or someone else's "imperfections-the way someone looks, behaves, or lives their life-the very act of focusing on imperfection pulls us away from our goal of being kind and gentle. This strategy has nothing to do with ceasing to do your very best but with being overly attached and focused on what's wrong with life. It's about realizing that while there's always a better way to do something, this doesn't mean that you can't enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.

The solution here is to catch yourself when you fall into your habit of insisting that things should be other than they are. Gently remind yourself that life is okay the way it is, right now. In the absence of your judgment, everything would be fine. As you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you'll begin to discover the perfection in life itself.

http://www.danceadts.com/edsupport/peace.htm

mmarshall

Granted, there are some things in life that are beyond our control, and i don't want to suggest otherwise, but too much of Dr. Carslon's philosophy here is nothing but excuses for tolerating things that SHOULD be done but AREN'T...things like uitility and paving companies cleaning up after themselves and not leaving debris on the roads in the first place, parents teaching their kids NOT to ride their bikes, skateboards, scooters, etc.... too close to cars where they can scratch them, parking your car under a protective roof WHEN POSSIBLE when you know a severe storm is coming that could damage it, opening car doors without banging the car next to you, being CAREFUL when you parallel-park and going around corners so you don't run wheels and tires into the curb, etc....
Yes, scratches, dents, etc.....often happen but they don't HAVE to. Most of the time it is just plain CARELESSNESS....on someone else's part if not yours. Yes, people are human beings, and we all sometimes make mistakes, but that is not an excuse for repeated carelessness.

Gekko

mmarshall - you missed the point. The point is, ***** is going to happen, whether you like it or not - it's out of your control. Some of us need to accept this and not be so damn picky with every little tiny imperfection - we need to learn to enjoy what we have. Me included.

mmarshall

No, I made it clear in my opening sentence that sometimes sh-- does happen that we cannot control.
In fact, here's a little tip: sometimes you can "live" with scratches and chips just by covering them up. One little trick I've learned is you can take flat black trim tape and cover up scratches in inconpisuous places. If you do it right and trim the tape pieces properly, you can put down a patterns that looks like it is part of the car's black trim. And, rather than go through the hassles of getting a new windshield, I simply covered up a small chip near the lower-left corner with a small decal.
And you can use "SCRATCH-OUT" ( see the website for Northern Labs.com ). It comes in a small yellow bottle ($2-5) at auto parts and drug stores. Just rub it in like wax, wipe it off, and it takes out all kinds of SURFACE (not deep) imperfections...keeps the paint like new. It has a marvelous light abrasive that will not leave swirl marks...in fact, it takes swirl marks out. I give small bottles of it away as gifts for people who get new vehicles.

RA40

iTrader: (6)

To me, it is not the pursuit of "perfection" as that in itself is unobtainable. It is the pursuit of tailoring things to our individual requirements or perceived needs. Some will seek levels higher than others while others aspirations are different. The aceptance level for certain things is just different.