Where to get a (cheap) paint job?
09-20-07, 08:39 AM
#1
Out of Warranty
Thread Starter
Where to get a (cheap) paint job?
My wife's minivan, an ancient '92 Plymouth Grand Voyager with 192,000 miles has begun slowly rusting away in the driveway. Last week our yard man managed to fling a rock into a side window with a weed eater and break it, and after a week of waiting on her eBay-purchased replacement ($28 + $48 shipping) the glass arrived in good shape and we had it installed along with a new windshield yesterday for about $250.
Having gotten that deep into investment on the old van, we're looking at painting it before it dissolves. Not really interested in a show-quality finish, after all this thing's worth only about $700, TT&L. We just want to stop a bit of rust that has appeared. A couple of years ago we replaced the headliner and the interior is still nice. The old Mitsu V6 runs well, tranny's in good shape, and we have a tiny oil leak from a valve cover gasket which I will be replacing shortly.
I'd like to replace the van altogether, but because it sees only about 500 miles a year, it's really not worth it at this point. Our daughter will be needing a car for work soon, and we will probably pass this on to her and find a good used car or a reasonably priced new one for my wife.
Now, with that background, the question is: Where do you get it painted? Earl Schieb and Maaco want about $500 to clean it up and repaint - and that's OK. Again I'm not interested in a restoration here, just something that doesn't look like it was painted with a broom. Is there anything I need to watch out for?
When I was in high school and college and money was at a premium, I learned to do my own bodywork and surface prep, including removal of all chrome (except the driver's door handle and tail lights, the latter of which were removed at the painter's). Back then even the cheapest Earl Schieb paint job could look great - with a good deal of meticulous preparation. The key, I found was to find a good experienced painter who could shoot on a couple of coats of a decent product. I've probably done this with about six or eight cars and there wasn't a whole lot of difference between the quality of the $45 job and the $700 one (1960's dollars).
I don't know if that still applies. Is there a franchise that has some kind of standards, or should I go with an independent body shop? I'd rather not do the surface prep myself - I'm getting too fat and old for this kind of work - but, I'm willing to put a little sweat equity into the project if it will help. Any ideas?
Having gotten that deep into investment on the old van, we're looking at painting it before it dissolves. Not really interested in a show-quality finish, after all this thing's worth only about $700, TT&L. We just want to stop a bit of rust that has appeared. A couple of years ago we replaced the headliner and the interior is still nice. The old Mitsu V6 runs well, tranny's in good shape, and we have a tiny oil leak from a valve cover gasket which I will be replacing shortly.
I'd like to replace the van altogether, but because it sees only about 500 miles a year, it's really not worth it at this point. Our daughter will be needing a car for work soon, and we will probably pass this on to her and find a good used car or a reasonably priced new one for my wife.
Now, with that background, the question is: Where do you get it painted? Earl Schieb and Maaco want about $500 to clean it up and repaint - and that's OK. Again I'm not interested in a restoration here, just something that doesn't look like it was painted with a broom. Is there anything I need to watch out for?
When I was in high school and college and money was at a premium, I learned to do my own bodywork and surface prep, including removal of all chrome (except the driver's door handle and tail lights, the latter of which were removed at the painter's). Back then even the cheapest Earl Schieb paint job could look great - with a good deal of meticulous preparation. The key, I found was to find a good experienced painter who could shoot on a couple of coats of a decent product. I've probably done this with about six or eight cars and there wasn't a whole lot of difference between the quality of the $45 job and the $700 one (1960's dollars).
I don't know if that still applies. Is there a franchise that has some kind of standards, or should I go with an independent body shop? I'd rather not do the surface prep myself - I'm getting too fat and old for this kind of work - but, I'm willing to put a little sweat equity into the project if it will help. Any ideas?
Last edited by Lil4X; 09-20-07 at 08:42 AM.
09-20-07, 10:30 AM
#2
my gf's mom got her car painted at earl schieb when she messed the front end up in a crash. it was relatively cheap aroun 700 or so and they did a really good job. i checked for overspray ,mismatched paint, or other things and the car came outflawless. The shop even replaced the seals around the doors since they were getting old without anyone telling them to and no extra charge. But, from what i hear they are all independently owned so some locations might be better then others.
09-20-07, 05:56 PM
#3
Lexus Fanatic
Where to get a (cheap) paint job?
Seriously, the basic Earl Scheib jobs are about the cheapest of the well-known ones, but of course there may be some other El Cheapo shops in the Houston area where you live that we are not aware of.
http://www.earlscheib.com/
At one time, back in the late "60s, I can remember their cheapest paint job starting at $29.95. Now it's about 10 times that much....still cheap.
09-20-07, 09:14 PM
#5
Out of Warranty
Thread Starter
One of my earliest memories was of my Dad spray painting our '40 Plymouth in our garage. He was pretty pleased with the result, and got a good price for it a couple weeks later when he traded it. I've never wanted to go that far. Scheib quoted $480, MAACO $720 (for a much superior job, based on examples on the lot). I gave JK her choice of the MAACO job, or the Scheib - with some custom stripes - she chose the Scheib and a new kitchen floor. Women! 
Looks like I need to get out the wet/dry paper, the block, and a bucket . . .
Looks like I need to get out the wet/dry paper, the block, and a bucket . . .
09-21-07, 05:37 AM
#6
Lexus Fanatic
And, while Sheib doesn't do what I would call a good paint job, I've definitely seen worse.
09-26-07, 03:35 PM
#7
Out of Warranty
Thread Starter
We took the old van in to Earl Scheib on Monday and just picked it up a couple of hours ago. First impression was "WOW". The van had large areas of peeling paint on the hood and roof and was beginning to rust badly - a factory defect of 92-93 Chrysler products that were attempting to eliminate a primer coat. The idea failed and many were completely stripped and repainted under warranty. The local dealer wanted about $3K to strip and repaint, so we sought options.
Scheib was our lowest quote, and with my wife's inveterate couponning, we got a three-coat, six year guaranteed paint job for $560, including sanding to bare metal, all surface prep, priming and painting. This represents a mid-level package, neither the cheapest, nor the most expensive, and included some additional surface prep, but no bodywork.
The result is not at all bad for an aftermarket paint job. It has a nice gloss with a little orange peel, but not bad - about what you would expect from an OEM painter with a hangover. It's no show coat, but for the price, it is a real bargain and I can recommend it to anyone with an older car that needs a good, serviceable paint job.
A couple of things to watch out for if you are painting an older car that is not worth several thousand dollars worth of paint: Door jambs, underhood, trunk, or tailgate jambs are not included in the quoted price. Door jambs are $50 extra EACH, and tailgate, trunk, and hood are $100 each - in addition to the "package" price you are quoted. Wheels are not included in the price either - but this isn't as bad as it might seem.
Jambs do not need to be painted because they are not exposed to weather and are not subject to fading. If you are going to apply a color other than the OEM, you will need to consider an additional cost of some $400 to paint these areas. Be aware that Scheib does NOT match factory colors, and you are limited to between a half dozen and 30 colors, depending on the package you select. Unless you are painting black or white, or maybe a less critical primary color, it's going to cost you.
We got lucky. The OEM color was a dark to medium blue identical to one of the colors in the interior, while the new color is a light blue metallic with a slight purplish cast (Light Sapphire Metallic) - which happens to be close to the trim color in the cabin. The door jambs now fade from the new color back toward the old as you move inside, making the transition almost unnoticeable, despite the difference in tone. We didn't think the extra money was worth it for paint, so we're looking at a new stereo to blow our savings on.
Wheels were not included in the deal, but I can spray paint them black in a couple of hours, and I'll buff out the trim while the paint dries and JK goes out and shops for new aftermarket wheel covers. The OEM's spent the last several years being flung into traffic until we reached the point we were tired of replacing them. Bring on the selection from Pep Boys!
I have a bunch of "points" accumulated at a local detail shop and I'm taking it down next week for a full interior shampoo and detail - for free. Can't beat that price . . . Next project is to replace the aging stereo - the original was down to only one selection - fortunately JK's favorite . . . until it quit too, and one voice coil has begun to rattle in a rear speaker - looks like they're going too. We're considering a nav and backup camera to complete the project before the end of the year.
Looks like we're going to have this old workhorse in the family for a couple more years - but at least it won't be an embarrassment to be seen in anymore.
Scheib was our lowest quote, and with my wife's inveterate couponning, we got a three-coat, six year guaranteed paint job for $560, including sanding to bare metal, all surface prep, priming and painting. This represents a mid-level package, neither the cheapest, nor the most expensive, and included some additional surface prep, but no bodywork.
The result is not at all bad for an aftermarket paint job. It has a nice gloss with a little orange peel, but not bad - about what you would expect from an OEM painter with a hangover. It's no show coat, but for the price, it is a real bargain and I can recommend it to anyone with an older car that needs a good, serviceable paint job.
A couple of things to watch out for if you are painting an older car that is not worth several thousand dollars worth of paint: Door jambs, underhood, trunk, or tailgate jambs are not included in the quoted price. Door jambs are $50 extra EACH, and tailgate, trunk, and hood are $100 each - in addition to the "package" price you are quoted. Wheels are not included in the price either - but this isn't as bad as it might seem.
Jambs do not need to be painted because they are not exposed to weather and are not subject to fading. If you are going to apply a color other than the OEM, you will need to consider an additional cost of some $400 to paint these areas. Be aware that Scheib does NOT match factory colors, and you are limited to between a half dozen and 30 colors, depending on the package you select. Unless you are painting black or white, or maybe a less critical primary color, it's going to cost you.
We got lucky. The OEM color was a dark to medium blue identical to one of the colors in the interior, while the new color is a light blue metallic with a slight purplish cast (Light Sapphire Metallic) - which happens to be close to the trim color in the cabin. The door jambs now fade from the new color back toward the old as you move inside, making the transition almost unnoticeable, despite the difference in tone. We didn't think the extra money was worth it for paint, so we're looking at a new stereo to blow our savings on.
Wheels were not included in the deal, but I can spray paint them black in a couple of hours, and I'll buff out the trim while the paint dries and JK goes out and shops for new aftermarket wheel covers. The OEM's spent the last several years being flung into traffic until we reached the point we were tired of replacing them. Bring on the selection from Pep Boys!
I have a bunch of "points" accumulated at a local detail shop and I'm taking it down next week for a full interior shampoo and detail - for free. Can't beat that price . . . Next project is to replace the aging stereo - the original was down to only one selection - fortunately JK's favorite . . . until it quit too, and one voice coil has begun to rattle in a rear speaker - looks like they're going too. We're considering a nav and backup camera to complete the project before the end of the year.
Looks like we're going to have this old workhorse in the family for a couple more years - but at least it won't be an embarrassment to be seen in anymore.
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09-26-07, 04:55 PM
#9
Lexus Fanatic
Sounds like you got an OK paint job for a fair price...more or less typical of Earl Shieb. $560, for what you got, is not bad at all.
You are correct that early 90's Chrysler products (and some other manufacturers as well) had notorious paint problems, but that was not necessarily due to attempts to eliminate primer coats. It was more directly related to new EPA and CARB regulations governing factory auto painting processes and the escape of paint vapors into the atmosphere. I don't know all the details and paint chemistry involved, but several manufacturers....Chrysler, Ford, and Mazda, to name a few.......( I noticed it on these vehicles more so than others) had a lot of trouble perfecting the new and revised clearcoat paint processes for a couple of years, and, as you note, a lot of vehicles were repainted under warranty.
It was especially embarassing for me, because I had a new, light silver-blue 1990 Mazda Protege that had a few paint problems, (not too bad), but then I helped a friend's father find a new white 1991 Protege LX that was exactly what he wanted...the paint was fine on this brand-new car (I, of course, inspected it myself), but was a disaster within 18 months.
You are correct that early 90's Chrysler products (and some other manufacturers as well) had notorious paint problems, but that was not necessarily due to attempts to eliminate primer coats. It was more directly related to new EPA and CARB regulations governing factory auto painting processes and the escape of paint vapors into the atmosphere. I don't know all the details and paint chemistry involved, but several manufacturers....Chrysler, Ford, and Mazda, to name a few.......( I noticed it on these vehicles more so than others) had a lot of trouble perfecting the new and revised clearcoat paint processes for a couple of years, and, as you note, a lot of vehicles were repainted under warranty.
It was especially embarassing for me, because I had a new, light silver-blue 1990 Mazda Protege that had a few paint problems, (not too bad), but then I helped a friend's father find a new white 1991 Protege LX that was exactly what he wanted...the paint was fine on this brand-new car (I, of course, inspected it myself), but was a disaster within 18 months.
Last edited by mmarshall; 09-26-07 at 05:02 PM.
09-27-07, 05:33 AM
#10
Out of Warranty
Thread Starter
I understand the paint problem caused by EPA and CARB regulations. I worked for a large California-based oilfield equipment manufacturer for a number of years in the late seventies and eighties when most oil-based paints were banned. We'd sell a quarter-million dollars worth of machinery to a customer in Texas, the plant would build it and paint it in Orange, CA - but thanks to air-quality regulations, the paint was practically a watercolor. Imagine twenty tons of steel painted with a nice coat of Weatherbeater. Four days out of the paint booth in Socal, the truck would arrive in Houston with our customer's purchase boomed down on the flatbed - already badly faded and wearing a nice patina of rust.
Think that made our customers hot? Imagine spending that kind of money for a faded, rusting piece of machinery that looks like its been sitting on the yard for the last five years - despite the fact that the paint dried only a week before. Our repair facilities would routinely go through a couple of cases of spray paint every week just to make the product presentable. We tried having the machinery shipped WITHOUT paint, and just having it painted locally. That would have been a challenge for Earl Scheib!
It took nearly ten years . . . and a great deal of money to solve the problem - including a million dollar electrostatic spray booth at the plant. Today, thanks to powder coating and a number of other innovations, we can finally achieve decent looking and fairly long lasting paint jobs that are environmentally friendly. It was a long, bumpy road.
Think that made our customers hot? Imagine spending that kind of money for a faded, rusting piece of machinery that looks like its been sitting on the yard for the last five years - despite the fact that the paint dried only a week before. Our repair facilities would routinely go through a couple of cases of spray paint every week just to make the product presentable. We tried having the machinery shipped WITHOUT paint, and just having it painted locally. That would have been a challenge for Earl Scheib!
It took nearly ten years . . . and a great deal of money to solve the problem - including a million dollar electrostatic spray booth at the plant. Today, thanks to powder coating and a number of other innovations, we can finally achieve decent looking and fairly long lasting paint jobs that are environmentally friendly. It was a long, bumpy road.
09-27-07, 05:43 AM
#11
Out of Warranty
Thread Starter
I'll post pics next week when the cosmetic work is complete. Just looking around for some "before" photos, we don't have any - it was so embarrassing we never took a picture of it in the last five years. 
10-03-07, 08:29 AM
#12
Out of Warranty
Thread Starter
Progress report - wheels cleaned, sanded, primed and repainted over the weekend. Tires cleaned and reconditioned. Tasteful new ABS wheel covers installed (after some bloodshed).
Good news, going over the service reports on the van we found that it has only 92K miles on it, seems that the last owner (JK's sister) was wrong about that odometer having already been around once.
Background - We purchased it six years ago for $500 because the Chrysler dealer told my sister-in-law the AC was shot and had to be completely replaced. Cost - $3500. She bought a new van and offered us the "wreck" for $500 the difference between her trade-in value and the AC repair. After driving it, we thought, except for the AC, it was still a good car. We had all of the service records, and it had been well maintained . . . what the heck, we couldn't lose much at that price. We had a guy that has done some patchwork on AC systems before look it over. Replaced a $75 fitting that had cracked, bleeding the system down, and converted the R-12 to the newer spec refrigerant. $225 later, we had a van with COLD air.
To help the refrigeration system we pulled out the faded headliner, had the top heavily insulated and replaced the headliner with new fabric. Had the windows limo-tinted for heat rejection and security, and replaced the aging tires. Six years and six-thousand miles later, it was still mechanically sound, just "cosmetically challenged" with one hubcap, rusty wheels and badly peeling dark blue paint that had peeled away from about 25% of the surface. Thus we began our bargain restoration.
With a new coat of paint, this weekend while prepping a rear wheel, I discovered a long, fresh scrape in the new paint - down low behind the wheel. The girls were scheduled to go back to Scheib to have the radio antenna, broken off during painting, replaced. While they were there they did a little "forensic investigation" and found a matching scrape on a pipe sticking out of the building that one of their guys evidently sideswiped when parking the car after painting.
The girls took a series of pictures of the car and the pipe, complete with measurements shown in the photos - the alignment was perfect and the pipe had her car's paint on it. No body damage because it was on a vinyl bumper extension, but about 10" of paint removed. The manager agreed it was their fault and is repainting the section next week after this coat sets up permanently.
New tint applied to rear window yesterday almost matches. It's close, but will never be exact since the OEM windows were not tinted at all, and the replacement glass was. The installer tried several combinations, but this was the best he could do. Good job, a fair match, and the price was right (freebie).
Next on the agenda after fixing the paint will be a thorough interior detail, new radio/CD, speakers, backup camera, and GPS. (All of which can be removed to her NEXT car, if she ever gives this one up!) Our total investment (including purchase) thus far has been about $1800, and about another $1000 will finish the project. Not bad for a total cost of about $3K for a nice-looking, reliable, seven-passenger grocery-getter with some modern features and a bit of remaining value that we can pass on to our daughter.
Good news, going over the service reports on the van we found that it has only 92K miles on it, seems that the last owner (JK's sister) was wrong about that odometer having already been around once.
Background - We purchased it six years ago for $500 because the Chrysler dealer told my sister-in-law the AC was shot and had to be completely replaced. Cost - $3500. She bought a new van and offered us the "wreck" for $500 the difference between her trade-in value and the AC repair. After driving it, we thought, except for the AC, it was still a good car. We had all of the service records, and it had been well maintained . . . what the heck, we couldn't lose much at that price. We had a guy that has done some patchwork on AC systems before look it over. Replaced a $75 fitting that had cracked, bleeding the system down, and converted the R-12 to the newer spec refrigerant. $225 later, we had a van with COLD air.
To help the refrigeration system we pulled out the faded headliner, had the top heavily insulated and replaced the headliner with new fabric. Had the windows limo-tinted for heat rejection and security, and replaced the aging tires. Six years and six-thousand miles later, it was still mechanically sound, just "cosmetically challenged" with one hubcap, rusty wheels and badly peeling dark blue paint that had peeled away from about 25% of the surface. Thus we began our bargain restoration.
With a new coat of paint, this weekend while prepping a rear wheel, I discovered a long, fresh scrape in the new paint - down low behind the wheel. The girls were scheduled to go back to Scheib to have the radio antenna, broken off during painting, replaced. While they were there they did a little "forensic investigation" and found a matching scrape on a pipe sticking out of the building that one of their guys evidently sideswiped when parking the car after painting.
The girls took a series of pictures of the car and the pipe, complete with measurements shown in the photos - the alignment was perfect and the pipe had her car's paint on it. No body damage because it was on a vinyl bumper extension, but about 10" of paint removed. The manager agreed it was their fault and is repainting the section next week after this coat sets up permanently.
New tint applied to rear window yesterday almost matches. It's close, but will never be exact since the OEM windows were not tinted at all, and the replacement glass was. The installer tried several combinations, but this was the best he could do. Good job, a fair match, and the price was right (freebie).
Next on the agenda after fixing the paint will be a thorough interior detail, new radio/CD, speakers, backup camera, and GPS. (All of which can be removed to her NEXT car, if she ever gives this one up!) Our total investment (including purchase) thus far has been about $1800, and about another $1000 will finish the project. Not bad for a total cost of about $3K for a nice-looking, reliable, seven-passenger grocery-getter with some modern features and a bit of remaining value that we can pass on to our daughter.
Last edited by Lil4X; 10-03-07 at 09:04 AM.
10-03-07, 08:36 AM
#13
Driver School Candidate
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This is a FS listing on Craigslist from a few weeks back. It reminded me of your story somewhat and thought you would enjoy it. So...enjoy Mrs. Bleepers!
Sell your soul to my minivan - $1700
Date: 2007-09-16, 7:43PM PDT
1995 Plymouth Grand Voyager LE “Rallye” Edition
I’m not going to lie to you. This car will change your life.
I bought this minivan in June of 04. I remember me back then: no prospects, jaded and selfish. I was an angry person. I needed to sell a classic car for something a little more modern (read: more space and didn’t break down all the time). I had a minivan previously that a friend sold to me for practically nothing. It was the same make and model only a few years older and for full disclosure a raging hunk of crap.
These minivans have never been very good. For as many as the Chrysler Corp sells, you’d think they’d make them way better. The Plymouth/Dodge minivans have notoriously crappy transmissions and guide valves, among other serious faults so I was apprehensive about buying another van then having to pay to fix the tranny (which costs more than the value of the car).
Then I met Mrs. Beepers here.
The guy who I bought it from was the original owner. It had low mileage for it’s age and he was old and kinda ugly so I didn’t see any kids running around. I’m feeling pretty confident that this mobile has never had the kid-puke treatment to the interior. And me being sterile (lawn dart accident) there have pretty much been no kids in the car. The ashtray was clean so I’m thinking he didn’t smoke in it and I don’t at all. When we came up with a price, he kinda flashed one of those devious smiles like the old shop owner in Gremlins who handed over the gremlin to the dad to give as a present.
Don’t get them wet and don’t feed them after midnight?!! That’s like giving a nuclear bomb to a monkey and putting a tempting oversize banana-yellow button on the top as the detonator.
I paid the man and rolled out in my next minivan.
Over the next few months, Beepers served well at its intended function. I am a photographer and I used it primarily for photoshoots for my models to get dressed in. It was a great life. We spent countless hours of quality time together… until Christmas Eve. I woke Christmas morning to go for a walk and noticed my car door open. Someone had befouled Beepers by breaking in and stealing the contents. I had a photoshoot the previous night and felt safe leaving my old lighting kit in there overnight. It was Christmas and my stuff was gone.
Violated by Santa Claus? I thought the same thing until I called my renter’s insurance company. They sent me a check for the REPLACEMENT value of my gear. To be honest, all of that stuff worked, but some of it was total dog****.
So now I’m rolling in all new gear thanks to Beepers, the tempting little minx that she is.
One month later, I come outside to go to a job only to notice the dry patch on the street where the van used to be. Some maniacs stole my car. Seriously, what kind of crack smoker steals a minivan? If TV and movies have taught me anything, you ALWAYS steal either a muscle car or something tragically expensive.
Beepers was gone. I was starting to think I had bought one of those cars built on an Indian burial ground. Three days later, I got a call from the cops telling me they had found the car. I show up at the tow place to find a completely empty car. They took everything out of it there was including my garbage and left… yep you guess it: a crack pipe!
Again my renter’s and car insurance companies hooked me up with more high-dollar checks. Awesome.
A little while passed with much happiness and joy. I loved her and she loved me by never breaking down, starting like a champ and getting pretty good gas mileage. I also work for a delivery company so she had access to a fleet mechanic whenever she got that “not so fresh” feeling.
And them BLAAAMM! An oncoming sexy little Honda CRX turns in front of Mrs. Beepers. No signal, no warning. Let’s face it, this is a minivan with a huge 3.3 liter engine, four captain’s seats, and a bench in the back so it seats seven happy people. Although she’s well endowed, she does have kind of a big ***. She wasn’t about to let this little hottie dis her like that so she slammed into her rear quarter panel sending the CRX into a truck stopped at a red light on the street it was turning on to. That impact popped the CRX’s rear and side windows out in a sparkling display.
As I leaned back from the steering wheel, I could sense Mrs. Beepers gloating. She taught a thing or two to that smarmy little harlot.
The impact, however slight, was enough to total both cars but Beepers, the plow horse that she is, drove away from the accident needing a serious nose job. I also got a pretty nice hernia from straining into the seatbelt.
So she sat there for awhile, still exhilarated from her street fight, but I was torn whether or not to fix her. She had been so good to me, but fixing a totaled car is often a silly idea. So I had a mechanic look up her skirt and make sure she was still solid. Clean bill of health.
During all of this, a windfall of checks floated in from the other driver’s insurance (and $1500 for the hernia!). Did you know that I made a ton of money by hitting a driver who switched to Geico? I ended up buying another minivan while deciding Mrs. Beepers’ fate. It was bigger and newer but didn’t have much soul. I suspect the new van is secretly plotting to kill me with burning oil fumes or something.
So I decided to fix her up and I used the bodywork guys nearby. They do awesome work, but I told him the deal and he assured he’d do it real cheap. And dammit, he did it really cheap! The problem is it looks kinda like one of those nose job photos that they use to convict drug-addict plastic surgeons.
The front grill and headlights look a little wonky and the front bumper is in great shape, it is however a different color from the rest of the trim. Kind of like when you spend the day in the sun and notice the still pale skin under your bathing suit. Yes Mrs. Beepers is showing her tan lines, but she’s proud and empowered.
Beyond the front end, this car is the best mini I’ve ever owned because every other one I had cost me thousands to operate. Breakdowns, stalls, total meltdowns, etc. It just cost me $150 to change the plugs on my current van because some glue-sniffing engineer decided that you should not be able to reach two of the plugs without a contortionist dwarf with really long arms.
In the entire time of ownership, beyond the regular maintenance like oil, plugs, filters, I have only needed to replace the EGR valve. Whatever the hell that is. Some things I replaced because she was being good (new oxygen sensor!).
This baby is solid in every other way. Mechanically, she’s awesome and everything else but the headlights and the off-color bumper clean and in great condition. At least it doesn’t have a blue quarter panel and an orange hood!
I owe a lot to this car. It’s the only car I’ve ever bought that actually made me money. Because of this car, I actually have a retirement account. Let me break it down:
Me before Mrs. Beepers…
1. Broke
2. Lazy
3. No taste
4. Ugly
5. Incontinent
6. No future
Me after Mrs. Beepers…
1. I have a savings and an IRA
2. I’m a mean go-getter
3. I own a bunch of sweet art
4. Dead sexy
5. Incontinent
6. I’m going places!
I did have a lot more hair before I bought this car, so if logic holds true, you’ll probably go bald too.
OK you’ve read this far. That means you really want this car so I’ll give you some particulars:
130,000 miles
3.3 liter V6 engine (you can tow a trailer if you get the tow package)
Automatic transmission
Power steering
Power brakes
Power door locks, windows, and mirrors
Power back wing windows
Tilt steering wheel
Keyless remote
Roof console
Tinted windows
Premium Infinity speaker system with amplifier.
AM/FM Tape deck
Alloy wheels with good tires
2 back captain’s chairs and 1 bench seat (all removable)
Leather wrapped steering wheel
Clear title
Maintained by a fleet mechanic
I’m not completely sure what the “Rallye” edition means. I think it’s just the bigger engine and the two toned paintjob (white/silver trim).
I’m asking $1700 for it. Kelly Blue Book (KBB.com) values this car at $3590. I’m asking less than half of what it’s valued at and the exact price it will cost me to move into a new apartment. If you’re buying a car as an investment, don’t buy this car. If you want something that’s safe, sound and sweet that will roll for a long time and don’t care about its value, Mrs. Beepers is your girl. This is the classiest way to get places with six of your children, homies, or naked models. You decide!
I do recommend having insurance because of her spotty past. She might just make you rich like me. That is if you love her like I did.
Date: 2007-09-16, 7:43PM PDT
1995 Plymouth Grand Voyager LE “Rallye” Edition
I’m not going to lie to you. This car will change your life.
I bought this minivan in June of 04. I remember me back then: no prospects, jaded and selfish. I was an angry person. I needed to sell a classic car for something a little more modern (read: more space and didn’t break down all the time). I had a minivan previously that a friend sold to me for practically nothing. It was the same make and model only a few years older and for full disclosure a raging hunk of crap.
These minivans have never been very good. For as many as the Chrysler Corp sells, you’d think they’d make them way better. The Plymouth/Dodge minivans have notoriously crappy transmissions and guide valves, among other serious faults so I was apprehensive about buying another van then having to pay to fix the tranny (which costs more than the value of the car).
Then I met Mrs. Beepers here.
The guy who I bought it from was the original owner. It had low mileage for it’s age and he was old and kinda ugly so I didn’t see any kids running around. I’m feeling pretty confident that this mobile has never had the kid-puke treatment to the interior. And me being sterile (lawn dart accident) there have pretty much been no kids in the car. The ashtray was clean so I’m thinking he didn’t smoke in it and I don’t at all. When we came up with a price, he kinda flashed one of those devious smiles like the old shop owner in Gremlins who handed over the gremlin to the dad to give as a present.
Don’t get them wet and don’t feed them after midnight?!! That’s like giving a nuclear bomb to a monkey and putting a tempting oversize banana-yellow button on the top as the detonator.
I paid the man and rolled out in my next minivan.
Over the next few months, Beepers served well at its intended function. I am a photographer and I used it primarily for photoshoots for my models to get dressed in. It was a great life. We spent countless hours of quality time together… until Christmas Eve. I woke Christmas morning to go for a walk and noticed my car door open. Someone had befouled Beepers by breaking in and stealing the contents. I had a photoshoot the previous night and felt safe leaving my old lighting kit in there overnight. It was Christmas and my stuff was gone.
Violated by Santa Claus? I thought the same thing until I called my renter’s insurance company. They sent me a check for the REPLACEMENT value of my gear. To be honest, all of that stuff worked, but some of it was total dog****.
So now I’m rolling in all new gear thanks to Beepers, the tempting little minx that she is.
One month later, I come outside to go to a job only to notice the dry patch on the street where the van used to be. Some maniacs stole my car. Seriously, what kind of crack smoker steals a minivan? If TV and movies have taught me anything, you ALWAYS steal either a muscle car or something tragically expensive.
Beepers was gone. I was starting to think I had bought one of those cars built on an Indian burial ground. Three days later, I got a call from the cops telling me they had found the car. I show up at the tow place to find a completely empty car. They took everything out of it there was including my garbage and left… yep you guess it: a crack pipe!
Again my renter’s and car insurance companies hooked me up with more high-dollar checks. Awesome.
A little while passed with much happiness and joy. I loved her and she loved me by never breaking down, starting like a champ and getting pretty good gas mileage. I also work for a delivery company so she had access to a fleet mechanic whenever she got that “not so fresh” feeling.
And them BLAAAMM! An oncoming sexy little Honda CRX turns in front of Mrs. Beepers. No signal, no warning. Let’s face it, this is a minivan with a huge 3.3 liter engine, four captain’s seats, and a bench in the back so it seats seven happy people. Although she’s well endowed, she does have kind of a big ***. She wasn’t about to let this little hottie dis her like that so she slammed into her rear quarter panel sending the CRX into a truck stopped at a red light on the street it was turning on to. That impact popped the CRX’s rear and side windows out in a sparkling display.
As I leaned back from the steering wheel, I could sense Mrs. Beepers gloating. She taught a thing or two to that smarmy little harlot.
The impact, however slight, was enough to total both cars but Beepers, the plow horse that she is, drove away from the accident needing a serious nose job. I also got a pretty nice hernia from straining into the seatbelt.
So she sat there for awhile, still exhilarated from her street fight, but I was torn whether or not to fix her. She had been so good to me, but fixing a totaled car is often a silly idea. So I had a mechanic look up her skirt and make sure she was still solid. Clean bill of health.
During all of this, a windfall of checks floated in from the other driver’s insurance (and $1500 for the hernia!). Did you know that I made a ton of money by hitting a driver who switched to Geico? I ended up buying another minivan while deciding Mrs. Beepers’ fate. It was bigger and newer but didn’t have much soul. I suspect the new van is secretly plotting to kill me with burning oil fumes or something.
So I decided to fix her up and I used the bodywork guys nearby. They do awesome work, but I told him the deal and he assured he’d do it real cheap. And dammit, he did it really cheap! The problem is it looks kinda like one of those nose job photos that they use to convict drug-addict plastic surgeons.
The front grill and headlights look a little wonky and the front bumper is in great shape, it is however a different color from the rest of the trim. Kind of like when you spend the day in the sun and notice the still pale skin under your bathing suit. Yes Mrs. Beepers is showing her tan lines, but she’s proud and empowered.
Beyond the front end, this car is the best mini I’ve ever owned because every other one I had cost me thousands to operate. Breakdowns, stalls, total meltdowns, etc. It just cost me $150 to change the plugs on my current van because some glue-sniffing engineer decided that you should not be able to reach two of the plugs without a contortionist dwarf with really long arms.
In the entire time of ownership, beyond the regular maintenance like oil, plugs, filters, I have only needed to replace the EGR valve. Whatever the hell that is. Some things I replaced because she was being good (new oxygen sensor!).
This baby is solid in every other way. Mechanically, she’s awesome and everything else but the headlights and the off-color bumper clean and in great condition. At least it doesn’t have a blue quarter panel and an orange hood!
I owe a lot to this car. It’s the only car I’ve ever bought that actually made me money. Because of this car, I actually have a retirement account. Let me break it down:
Me before Mrs. Beepers…
1. Broke
2. Lazy
3. No taste
4. Ugly
5. Incontinent
6. No future
Me after Mrs. Beepers…
1. I have a savings and an IRA
2. I’m a mean go-getter
3. I own a bunch of sweet art
4. Dead sexy
5. Incontinent
6. I’m going places!
I did have a lot more hair before I bought this car, so if logic holds true, you’ll probably go bald too.
OK you’ve read this far. That means you really want this car so I’ll give you some particulars:
130,000 miles
3.3 liter V6 engine (you can tow a trailer if you get the tow package)
Automatic transmission
Power steering
Power brakes
Power door locks, windows, and mirrors
Power back wing windows
Tilt steering wheel
Keyless remote
Roof console
Tinted windows
Premium Infinity speaker system with amplifier.
AM/FM Tape deck
Alloy wheels with good tires
2 back captain’s chairs and 1 bench seat (all removable)
Leather wrapped steering wheel
Clear title
Maintained by a fleet mechanic
I’m not completely sure what the “Rallye” edition means. I think it’s just the bigger engine and the two toned paintjob (white/silver trim).
I’m asking $1700 for it. Kelly Blue Book (KBB.com) values this car at $3590. I’m asking less than half of what it’s valued at and the exact price it will cost me to move into a new apartment. If you’re buying a car as an investment, don’t buy this car. If you want something that’s safe, sound and sweet that will roll for a long time and don’t care about its value, Mrs. Beepers is your girl. This is the classiest way to get places with six of your children, homies, or naked models. You decide!
I do recommend having insurance because of her spotty past. She might just make you rich like me. That is if you love her like I did.
10-03-07, 09:05 PM
#14
Out of Warranty
Thread Starter
great story!Uh-oh, master cylinder let go - project on hold for a week - not wanting brake fluid dribbled on fresh paint. We have to let paint dry for another week before swapping out cylinder. Must rein in project cheapskate . . .
10-04-07, 12:46 AM
#15
Lexus Connoisseur
Maaco and Earl Sheib are definitely the low price paint shops out there in the industry. There is also a cheaper route...Color by Krylon.