MPLexus301

iTrader: (3)

As some of you may know, I had my car repainted about two months ago. As it turns out, there were a few areas that I wanted rewetsanded and corrected so I dropped the car off today and made reservations with Enterprise for an "intermediate sized" car in the mean time. I knew I would get a Cobalt, Focus, or Corolla and considering the "strides" that both Ford and GM have made in recent years, I did not bother to request a Corolla. In fact, I thought this might be a good chance for me to drive one of the new domestic products to get a feel for the improved quality and attention to detail that we have heard so much about, though I know that the aging Cobalt is about to be replaced by the Cruze.

Before I attempt to relay my disgust for the Chevrolet Cobalt to my fellow members, let me say that I did not set my standards very high before I even placed my reservation with Enterprise. This was, in my eyes, very basic transportation and nothing more. In high school I worked at the local Toyota dealership and we often lent out Corollas as loaner vehicles and I expected the Cobalt to be roughly similar overall- no thrills, basic appliance transportation. To sum it up, I would rather drive a 1993 Toyota Camry than this pile of garbage...so let me tell you why.

From the outside, yes, it's bland and boring. So is the Corolla, so is the Focus, so are the rest of them. I got inside of my 2009 Silver/grey cloth Cobalt and was nearly blinded by the amount of light reflecting off the dashboard, but I sat down, let the white dots fade from my corneas, opened my eyes, and turned the keys. This specific car had 3,831 miles on it so while many of you will say, "Well it's a loaner so it has been beaten all to hell and this isn't a fair analysis", please keep in mind that this car has less than 4,000 miles on it.

Where do I start? There is so much to complain about and dislike that I am a little overwhelmed at where to begin. For starters the shifter probably costs about $0.36 to manufacture and it feels like it could snap off in your hand at any time, but none the less I put the car in drive and pulled away. I put my hands at 9 and 3 O'clock and as soon as I applied minimal pressure (just enough to hold the wheel/rest my palms) the "spokes" on the side of the steering wheel began popping with all kinds of high pitched plastic noises. I pressed on them with the hope to "pop" some loose piece into place, and it literally felt like they were both about to pop off. This high pitched popping and rubbing is constant, as every time my hands move on the wheel or turn it, the cockpit sounds like a bowl of rice krispies.

Moving along...I figured I would put on some music to drown out the incessant "snap, crackle, and pop" of the steering wheel and it felt like those controls could also pop off with the release of my finger. The large dial in the center of the stack has the substance of a bottle cap and makes a "pop" of it's own when you press or depress it. The sound system however, is decent for a car in this class. Perhaps better than the previous generation base Corolla. Speaking of that center stack, it is placed far too low on the dashboard and requires a bit of strain for drivers who are unfamiliar. The last '03 Corolla I drove had controls that were higher and more closely aligned with the driver's line of sight and the road, not to mention that they felt like those of an LS 460 in comparison to the Cobalt.

The inside of the A-Pillar, may actually be the worst piece of plastic that I have ever seen on the inside of any automobile, and this is not an exaggeration- I am debating taking pictures/video. Running my finger nail over the dashboard (that nearly rendered me blind before) creates a noise not unlike that of a plastic base ball- the type you hit off the Fisher Price tee when you were 4 years old, as it bounces off the concrete and then comes to a stop. I noticed how misaligned the faux-aluminum trim across the dash was, so I gave that a press which the car didn't seem to enjoy, because in reply it produced an even louder, higher pitched series of "pops" than the steering wheel. What's worse is that anytime you turn a corner and the weight transfers, the dash board makes these same pops and creaks without fail.

Many of us have joked around about American cars having "Rubbermaid" interiors, and I must admit that I have never heard such an injustice to America's number one plastic storage container manufacturer. I truly have desk organizers and picnic cups that feel more substantial than most of the interior on this car. It is actually that bad.

Some seats are better than others...Volvo, BMW, and Lexus all do a pretty good job of making drivers seats, and clearly charge you for it. Even then, many mainstream cars have seats that are plenty comfortable and that get the job done, while some really pathetic offerings provide seats that while not comfortable, are not necessarily uncomfortable either. Adding insult to injury, my noble Cobalt is even worse than this as it's drivers seat is wildly uncomfortable and strains my lower back pretty quickly. Additionally, I am 6 feet tall and the driver's seat cushion ends just after my butt cheek...the entire remainder of my legs have no support. This is likely a contributing factor to my discomfort.

Alas, this is but basic transportation and if it gets me from point A to point B with an average of 34ish mpg I should be happy, right? The commute from the body shop to my office is 18 miles and in that time (70mph on the highway, mostly) the gas needle sank from "1/2" to just a few hairs of above "1/4". My gas-sucking GS 300 can make the same venture with ever the slightest drop from the needle. I thought the needle may rebound when I parked the car or came to a stop, but no- it really used that much gas to travel 18 miles. All the while I was being jarred around the cabin, no doubt contributing to my back pain, as the engine worked tirelessly to try and maintain 70MPH so that I wasn't pulverized on GA400. Additionally, there are probably a good 7-8 inches of travel before the brake pedal actually starts to apply any stopping force, thus providing the driving confidence of a stage coach.

There is either something wrong with the transmission on my car, or this really is that big of a heap of junk. Under hard-ish acceleration, the transmission delays/hesitates shifts between gears a good 2-3 seconds so once it finally goes into gear, there is a pronounced jerk as the car once again begins accelerating. Coming out of the toll booth was eerily similar to riding a see saw.

So, I have only driven this car for 18 miles of my life and I have never wanted to drive something off a cliff so badly. It's crude, hard, bumpy, no more fuel efficient than any other car I have driven, hurts my eyes and back, and has an interior would probably disassemble itself if you drove on the highway with the windows down. The ony nice thing I have to say is that it handles somewhat better than prev. generation Corollas that I have driven, with less body roll and less artificial steering, though this is still feels no less organic than looking at the back of a SPAM container.

The new Cruze better be a *****-to-the-wall game changer for GM, because after driving this Cobalt, it's no wonder that the company has never resonated with small car buyers. The Cavalier was the long-time butt of all jokes in the automotive world, but I am not sure that the Cobalt is much better. This car is actually shocking- it's that bad.

LexFather

lol, good funny review...its clear GM was still a step or two away from refinement/quality with the competition. Still the interior is on par with a QX56 which costs what 4 times as much. That was the biggest POS I've ever driven in recent memory.

Thats one reason the Civic/Corolla do so well. Just b/c they are cheap doesn't mean they have to make you FEEL like you bought a cheap car.

MPLexus301

iTrader: (3)

I think that is what shocked me- the 2003ish Corolla was the cheapest car I had ever driven, in terms of price, class, quality, etc. I drove them all the time at the Toyota dealer that I worked at and viewed them as more or less cheap, basic econoboxes.

This Cobalt feels SO vastly inferior to those older Corollas that it is nearly shocking. It really makes me appreciate how well put together and high quality (relatively) the Corolla was.

GSteg

iTrader: (15)

I agree. The suspensions is HARD for what it is. I can't imagine what the Cobalt SS drives like!

It wasn't the biggest POS I've driven though. That award goes to the Dodge Caliber.

MPLexus301

iTrader: (3)

Wow I forgot about the Caliber! My old roommate had one. Even with the Caliber's whiney CVT, box car ride quality, and "are you serious?" shifter, I would have to still award the Cobalt biggest POS for the relatively low(er than) Caliber interior plastics

Och

iTrader: (3)

I once rented a Pontiac, I dont remember what that POS was called, i think g4 or g6 or c4 or c6, but it was the small four cylinder coupe, that is probably a rebadged cobalt.

I didnt pay attention to the fuel mileage of that thing, but the drivetrain and transmission felt allright. However MP is absolutely correct about the interior, its horrible. Theres one particular detail that MP overlooked that completely pissed me off - the headliner is wrapped into some ugly fabric, and where the headliner meets rear window, the fabric is just cut off... not stitched, not finished in any way, just cut off.

And our tax money is going to bail out a company that has the ***** to spit into their customers faces by building cars like that? Ridiculous.

Trexus

LOL. That was a humerous review of the 2009 Chevrolet Cobalt. I can see why GM is bankrupt...

IS-SV

That's a tough call, since so many of the GM and Chrysler cars are equally pathetic. I rented some Chevy crapmobile in Seattle a year ago, I'm not even sure what model it was.

Allen K

iTrader: (4)

The last gen Aveo was pretty bad...I haven't been in the newer one though

-J-P-L-

Yeah, the Colbalt is a "left over" of the "old GM". And as the OP made sure to point out, the Cruze is coming soon and this will make the Colbalt feel like a 20 year old car. It will be a game changer that will give Toyota and Honda something to worry about.

Check this interior out!!!

wmb0000

You should have try the Focus. I rented that a few time and it's not bad at all.

Jewcano

iTrader: (4)

Looks like an angry Transformer LOL. However that interior doesn't look half bad.

DASHOCKER

iTrader: (2)

I might trade in my 335 for a Chevy Cobolt SS. What a machine!

MPLexus301

iTrader: (3)

I hope so. I have found that many of GM's new interiors seem to photograph better than they really are in person. The Traverse, Malibu, CTSV, and others all look top-notch in pictures but fall short in the real world. The new Traverse had door panels that you could nearly split apart with your finger, and the Malibu had hollow sounding interior panels while the interior buttons have the same tactile feel as the "popper" on a Trouble game.

Seriously though, I hope the Cruze is a knock out.

IS-SV

Let us know when that happens.