For many years Saab was a division of General Motors and it was plainly obvious the Americans had absolutely no idea what to do with it. So after a while they decided to close it down, while simultaneously designing an all-new car. The 9-5.
You might imagine that in these circumstances the designers and engineers would spend most of their days looking for another job rather than bothering to make the new car any good. But they did eventually show us what it looked like. And we were impressed. And then General Motors pulled the plug.
For a while it looked as if the new car would never actually get launched, as if Saab was gone. But at the last moment a man called Victor Muller — who also owns the Dutch car firm Spyker — stepped up to the mark and bought Saab. For less than the price of a wind tunnel.
This led to another problem. I imagine Muller’s banks and backers would want a return on their faith as quickly as possible.
So I’m assuming they leant on the engineers to get the nearly finished 9-5 onto the market. Yesterday.
But. But. But. The crucial suspension tuning work on a new car is always done in the last few weeks of its gestation. And you get the impression that such was the rush to get this car into the showrooms, the work was either done in a hurry. Or, in some potholes, not actually done at all.
The 9-5 rides badly but still wallows about in the bends. Imagine a canal boat on the M1. Now imagine it in a rough sea. That’s what the 9-5 is like.
And that is a huge pity for two reasons. First, if people don’t buy this car, Saab will be finished, and that would be a shame. And, second, the rest of the car is either good or very outstanding.
It’s based on an elongated version of the Vauxhall Insignia platform, and that means there is an almost unbelievable amount of space in the back. And the boot is even more enormous. I bet you could get all of Abba in there easily.
Further forward, the dash is clever, and, outside, the styling is sublime. It’s exactly what you think a modern Saab should look like. There’s only one issue, really. To make it look even better, you might be tempted to fit the big wheels. But they will make the ride even worse.
Unless you are a Saab nut, I cannot recommend you buy this car ... yet. But surely to God they will be working now on those suspension issues, and soon, if enough cash rolls in in the meantime, a better version will come along. It’s an easy fix.
To close, I wonder if Saab’s ad men will continue to insist Saabs are based on jet fighters. It’s a hard sell when we know this one’s actually based on a Vauxhall saloon. But in one way, as Tom Cruise and I will testify, it is just like a jet fighter. It makes you feel a bit sick.