That almost happened to me on my 22 ES UL. I bought from the list of assigned cars to my dealership and I wanted the listed color changed (from Caviar to Nightfall Mica) and the spoiler deleted. The factory agreed to both changes when they were assured I was putting down a deposit. Perhaps I was lucky because the dealer contacted me about the new list of pending cars the day they received it (they knew what I wanted and were on the lookout for UL that was spec'd out like I wanted) and it was acted upon within 24-hours. In any event they did change the color and dropped the spoiler for me and I had the car six weeks later. Love how it came out!

 

If you can find one, definitely get it. I have a 2019 Caviar ES300h UL and it came with the rear spoiler. It really completes the "swooping line" of the ES. I have spotted only a couple of ES (the car is pretty rare where I am located, not sure why) for the last 3 years and most of them didn't have it. It felt naked and that something was missing (maybe because I got used to seeing my spoiler). My Neighbor have a 2017 CLS 63s and his mini spoiler that came with the car really completes the looks and the line of the car (stunning looking car).

 

I agree with you & will keep going with my search, thanks!